Jen Mons Coaching

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What it Means to be Sovereign

Sovereignty is being the expert of your own sovereign. Yourself, your body, your beliefs, your energy, or like all of those things. So let's start with what the definition is for my brainy people, because I totally feel that some of you want to know what is the definition of sovereignty in Wikipedia? So, sovereignty of God, which is where we hear this, I think most in Christianity can be defined primarily as the right of God to exercise his ruling power over his creation, and secondarily, but not necessarily the exercise of his right. So in other words, he can do whatever he wants. And the relationship between free will and sovereignty of God has been relevant in debate throughout history. So that is as it relates to Christianity.

But there's also sovereignty in the dictionary, which we'll link both of those references here. So the definition as it relates to the dictionary, which is supreme power or authority. So the authority of a state to govern itself or another state. And another definition for it is self governing state. There's the definition for those of you that have heard the word before, and that's probably your idea of sovereignty.

I'm going to share with you what my idea of sovereignty is. It's truth that invites us to trust. To me, sovereignty comes from trust, a knowing, and it's a relationship with trust. Some of us find it easy to step into that and others find it very, very difficult. It can have to do with God. And everything does, in my humble opinion. But even that alone triggers people to separate themselves from that idea because maybe there's some wounding or stories or patterns around even just that word activating or triggering you. So I will use that word. I will use the word God when I speak in sovereignty, because it's my personal truth.

Sometimes I say grace has a little bit more of a feminine energy to it. Sometimes I say source. Creative energy, source. But sovereignty is knowing. And it's that idea that no matter what happens to you in your life, that your love, your unconditional love, and it's just this knowing that you can keep moving forward. It's not hope. It's not trying. It's knowing. It's the embodiment of trust. Sovereignty is the embodiment of trust. And it shows up in every relationship in our life. And where it doesn't show up, the invitation to lean into it shows up. And usually it's uncomfortable. It's like if you need to become sovereign in your physical body, you want to be empowered in your choices, no matter what your choice is, whether it's a holistic form of health or pharmaceutical western practices, that whatever your choice is right. Whatever your choice is, let it be an empowered choice, because energetically, that's the one that's aligned for you. Don't let your choice be from a place of fear. When we're in a place of fear, we give our power away. 

If you choose to invest in something, anything, college, a house, a relationship, time, a career, let that choice be empowered. Let it feel aligned. Because when you do, you trust, because, you know, because you're aligned to it. You. There isn't anybody that anybody can say or do to take that from you. You don't need external validation. You don't need approval. People might try to attack you and make you small, and they might tell you you're wrong, and they might blame and project, and they may even try to convince you that something that you're doing was their idea.

Sovereignty is standing. There's nothing to fix. We get to choose to make things better if we want to, but there isn't anything to fix that saboteur. That is just the voice in your head that wants a little attention, just needs a little attention, needs a little love. It's the wounded part of us, the survivor strategy, that shows up when we're about to expand. And so usually in those moments when you're about to expand and grow, that belief that's been holding you back your whole life is going to knock on the door again, and you're going to get to choose again. And sometimes you shut the door again. Sometimes you say, I don't trust. I don't have the time. I don't have the money. I don't have the support. I can't do this. I can't do this alone. Why does this happen to me? And you shut the door again. But then one day. One day it becomes clear. You're ready to open that door. You're ready to take that leap of faith. 

The difference between people who trust and people who don't are the people who've taken the risks and the people who take the risks. And I'm just talking about sharing your heart with somebody. I'm talking about commitment to some type of nutrition program to figure out what foods can make you feel really good. I'm talking about investing in your well being, investing in a relationship, and investing in a personal growth program, investing in some certification so that you can give back to the world or rescuing that.

Do you know your truth? When you make decisions, are you sovereign in your decision?  Why do we do that? Why do we procrastinate? Why do we blame? Why do we project? Why do we put off the things that we know we want to do? And how often do you know that you're going to do something but you put it off anyways? And what's that about?

Sovereignty in the body feels very grounded. It's relaxing. It's like a breath. Heart is open, not guarded. Relaxed and just trust. So often we make stories and excuses about ourselves that keep us from growing. We attach ourselves to these identities that keep us small, whatever your identity is. That's when we are attached to all of those. We're not sovereign when we're living in a place of fear. When we make decisions because we don't want to accept self responsibility for the results. We are not sovereign and that, my friends, is 90% of the world. I'm going to say that again because so often so many of us want somebody else to make the easy decision for us because then we don't have to take responsibility and then we can blame somebody else if it doesn't work out.

Sovereignty is the opposite of that. It is taking radical self responsibility for the choices that you make and trusting and knowing that whatever the outcome is, it's okay. And letting go of the expectation or the outcome and just being okay. It's letting go of that fear of failure, being willing to at least try. Imagine what your life could look like if you shifted that. Imagine the things that you've been missing out on because you've been so afraid to take that leap of faith. It's heartbreaking. Your potential,  I'm talking about living a fulfilled life. I'm talking about living in deep, loving relationships with people. It's just really hard to find these days with social media and the whole thing. Our culture is so inundated with stuff that's not even real. It's crazy. Absolutely crazy. And at the end of the day, what most of us are seeking is to love and be loved.

Living a fulfilled life starts with being sovereign in your choices, in your beliefs, in your values, and it's choosing to show up every day in those values aligned to them. If you say you value joy, well, do something fun every day. If you say you value health, your habits better be healthy. If you say you value connection, are you available emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally for those around you? Are you present, really? Are you really, truly living in alignment with what you say you value and have compassion for the moments that you don't? Because you won't do it 100% of the time. It takes practice. And the more you do it and the more you recognize, oops, like, didn't do that today, it's okay. We can become emotionally detached from the idea that it makes us wrong. And then it kind of starts to become almost funny that we're all just like, making things way more complicated than we have to.

So that's my invitation for you, is to notice the parts of your life where you easily, easily give your power away. Because sovereignty is standing in your own truth, embodying your truth and standing in your own power, and not asking others what you should do. A good coach does not give advice and tell people what to do. A good coach and teacher provides the steps and asks the questions for the person to reveal what is best for them. A good coach does not fix or change anyone. A good coach leads and guides a client to reveal next best steps. A good coach holds that vision for you that you desire until you are ready to receive it.

Karen Kenney said that a coach holds the vision for you until you're ready to receive it. So a really good coach sees that, sees that potential, understands what works for you, and helps you to determine what you believe is best for you while still holding that vision for you until you're ready to receive it. It's all about you being willing to open up and receive. 

Sovereignty is allowing yourself to trust and believe in yourself. So you might be thinking, well, then, why do I need a coach? The coach and the mentor, they help us to grow and expand in ways that we don't even know are available to us. They help us to see our blind spots. And so, yes, it's true, being sovereign in our own decision making is not to be confused with support. We don't give our power away by seeking support, because that's about receiving. So it's very different. But if we're asking for somebody to give us the answer to something, well, then, yes, you're giving your power away in that, and that would be a disservice to you.

Sovereignty is what my invitation is for you to journal. What does sovereignty mean? Where have I given my power away? I'm talking about inner power, that knowing. Where do I not trust myself? Where do I give my power? Where do I trust in others more than myself? So when you trust yourself more than others, when you trust in God, when you trust that you're loved, when you trust that you're taken care of, that you're held, that everything is working for you, you don't need a reason as to why or how that you're trusting. You just choose to trust. You just know, even when it doesn't make sense. There's so many stories I could share around that because the vision that's held for us is so much bigger than we can even possibly see. That's why we have to trust because what we think we want is so much smaller than what's available to us.

Sovereignty is the embodiment of that truth. That we are worthy, that we can withstand anything that comes our way, that we know our truth, that we are not anything that is being projected onto us. We are not our fears, we are not our emotions, we are not our achievements, we are not our roles, we are not our identities. We are just the truth. We are sovereign in that truth. And if you've developed a relationship with God, with grace, well, then it just becomes so much more effortless because that relationship then becomes, I surrender to this truth. And in return, you give to me this life, this breath, and everything that I believe is for me is just unfolding for me. And we let go of that need to grind and hustle because we  realize that it's like that.

Let go and let God do what you can and let God do the rest. You do take aligned action, but you trust, and that is sovereignty. So that is what a sovereign is, it's the authority. If we get back to the dictionary definition again, it's the authority of my own body, my truth. It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. That's what sovereignty is. No one can make you feel anything without you allowing that permission.

So, sovereignty is not giving permission to the things that you're not available for. Make a list of what you're not available for. Make a list of what you are available for and show up aligned to those things. Are you available for fixing people pleasing, emotional projection, abandonment, rejection, the lack of emotional integrity in others, physical, verbal or mental abuse? Are you available for those things? Are you available for self sabotaging? Are you available for keeping yourself small? What are you available for? Available for deep and loving, authentic relationships? Available for healing. Available for God. Available to surrender. Available for health. Available for love. Available for financial freedom and abundance. Available for joy. That's what I want to be available for. Make your list of what you're not available for and what you are.

I invite you to journal on what sovereignty means to you and how maybe you've given your power away in the past. And what does it say about you in those moments if you do give your power away, if you do step  into that behavior? And what does it say if you don't? Because there's usually a story of  sometimes we over give. A lot of times fixers need to feel debt validated. Or maybe we're over giving because somebody told us we were selfish, or maybe we're fixing because we never felt important. But when we help others, we feel important.

Start getting clear on the story about where and why you give that sovereignty away. When you give your sovereignty away, you're giving away your peace. Super important to protect your inner peace the older we get. And if you're not clear on that yet, I invite you to start today.

What am I available for?

What am I not available for?

What is sovereignty to me?

What is my inner peace?

How have I let that go?

How have I given my power away?

How do I play small?

How do I shut down opportunities and potential?

Sometimes there are people right within our reach who are there, and they're the perfect teachers or mentors, or they're the perfect soulmate. And we're not willing to look because we're so clouded by our own fears that we can't trust that we just keep shutting doors on ourselves. And eventually our bodies become really uncomfortable. We might have a breakdown in health or money or love. That's usually what it is. And it's the invitation for a soul upgrade.

If you're interested in allowing yourself to feel and embody sovereign, embody truth, you have to be clear on what that is, what is true for you? What do you value? What is your mission in the world? And write it down. If you've never done this, I invite you to write it. That's what's so amazing about this is if it's aligned and true, it's sovereign. It's you already, that truth.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.