Busy Does Not Equal Important
How we keep ourselves busy and we make things hard because that's how we feel valued and important. For some of us, there's like this subconscious belief, written or unwritten, but it's down there somewhere that we can't have things that we want easily. Hard work is a badge of honor. The wounded badge of empathy, the superwoman badge and the badge of busyness. We're really bearing ourselves in a hole with all these identities that we think are serving us. One of those is busyness.
Everybody struggles with something, but you're the type of person whose things come maybe a little bit easier than others. Multiple different things like art and sports and music and school and relationships. Maybe not all of them, but a lot of them you've been able to create space for and maybe it's none of those. Maybe it's totally something else. You're able to do things well,and you've been rewarded for it. What that means becomes super glamorous and it hides, it masks what's really happening under the surface.
Everything looks good on paper until nobody knows. Then all of a sudden, health crisis, marriage crisis, just super unhappy, doesn't get along with their kids, whatever it is, something just breaks. How do we get here? Because we haven't slowed down enough to make time for the things that actually really matter somewhere in our energetic Karmic generational DNA or our childhood, which we know a lot of this stuff comes from.
How our relationships with our mom and our dad and our childhood impact a lot of who we become, a lot of our relationship to ourselves, our feminine and masculine self. A lot of women, they appear to be what we would think of as thriving in their masculine energy and because it looks good on the outside, it's really hard to let go of. It's hard to let go of the behaviors, the patterns, and the beliefs that have led to success. They've led to a good paying job. They've led to maybe even a good marriage or a life that is pretty good.
But if you really get these women in space of truth and clarity and to slow down, they're on the verge of tears. They're overwhelmed and exhausted, and they're so tired of keeping it all together. We all experience similar things that just show up differently, but it usually shows up in some type of relationship.
Consider for a moment what does being busy mean to you? Do you use that word? Busy means misaligned. Busy means not present. It means not being intentional. There's always something speaking louder to us in one month than it is the other. How much of your day are you really being intentional and spending time doing the things that you want to do? Are you showing up the way that you want to even in your job?
Another belief we could explore, most of us have to have a job to go to work, to bring in an income to support our lifestyle. Many of us are in a job that we don't love, or many people. It's not necessarily about what you do, but how you feel and how you show up when you're in that role, everything serves a purpose.
For some of you right now, your executive role, if you're thinking of becoming an entrepreneur, your executive role is providing financial stability for you. You get to choose how much of your energy that your job gets from you. If you choose to balance that, you could create more energy and space to think of the thing that you want to do down the road. But where does this story come from that busy equals important?
When amazing, brilliant women can be good at anything. It's almost like it's her shadow because then that makes it harder to say no, because it's like, well, I can do it. We always talk about how just because you can doesn't mean you have to. We get to choose from a place of joy. If we can figure out a way to do things, because things can come maybe easier to us than they do other people, if we almost have to make things harder so that we don't get rejected or feel like people are going to think we think we're better than them. It's like ease equals either naturally gifted or lazy. But we were not willing to work hard, and there's some sort of pride in working hard. It's like if you work hard and make a lot of money let's just go there for a second.
Well, nobody's really going to say anything bad about you, but if you make a lot of money by not working hard, people are going to judge you. That's a belief that could happen. Why do you think we make this badge of honor around working hard and this busyness? Where does that come from that we think that makes us more important, that then people won't judge us if we work harder? There's some generational aspect to that. It is deeply ingrained that you had to work hard to earn your freedom. There are those patterns. There are those generational beliefs.
What would it be like if you choose today to choose work, to make decisions, to create momentum in your work from a place of ease and alignment, the things that come naturally to you. When it was easy and when it came natural to you, you didn't have to create extra steps to make yourself feel important because of guilt or shame? That others have to work harder? Yes, some others do have to work harder at some things that might come naturally to you, but that's not about you.
Why do you think we place importance on hard work and busyness? What would change if you decided today to rewrite that belief? Hard work equals success. Busyness equals important. What would happen if we just embraced and believed that we can be valued and valuable, that we can be beloved and lovable, that we can be good enough on our best and worst days, and we don't have to overwork or overachieve to be any of those. To be lovable, to be valuable, to feel good enough, to be worthy. We don't have to prove anything. We can just take a line to action in the necessary effort and energy and amount that is needed to complete the task. Because that physical act of doing and not being is a distraction keeping us from the thing that we want most. Most of you want clarity, peace, the sense of freedom, more joy. You just want to feel relaxed and worthy in your knowing. If you're spending your day addicted to busyness, you're avoiding the truth of who you are. You're avoiding the truth of your life. You're avoiding the present moment.
What is one way that you know or one relationship that you know brings enough discomfort that you immediately go on your cell phone? That's a subconscious habit that happens because we're uncomfortable with the stillness in the moment. Maybe that's yours. Maybe there's a relationship in your home that you're avoiding. Deeper connection with. What is the relationship in your life, in your home or at work that you're avoiding? What is that relationship you're avoiding by staying busy? What are you ready to do about it? What is the relationship in your life or the change in your life that you're avoiding by staying busy? What is it costing you?
P.S.
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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.
