Are Your Goals and Roles Serving You?
Learning how to hone and fine tune the gifts of being energy sensitive. When I say gifts, it's like something that you've been given, that you're aware of, that comes naturally and easy to you, and something that should you choose, you can use in your everyday life. The tricky part is that it comes with discernment and it comes with the invitation for healthy boundaries. For example, compassion, how love and compassion are needed in the world, but also how too much compassion can be enabling and also disempowering for other people. And too much compassion can be when we step into that rescuer role or the fixer role. So it's just kind of noticing when you have that thing that comes really easy for you that you're really aligned with from your heart, really noticing, is this coming from a healthy place? Or is this coming from an underlying subconscious need for something like attention or approval or the need to be needed, or the need to fix or heal or change someone or something else.
And so I want to talk a little bit about this concept about the badge of honor that we wear. It can look like many different things. It can be the perfectionist, the overachiever, the high performer, which was one that I wore for a really long time. The badass, or even like the health guru, which is also one that I wore for a while. Or the woman who does everything and wears many hats. Or the loving and nurturing mother or the helper or the kind sensitive soul. Or just kind of like the identities and the roles and the labels that we kind of wear and own. It's giving us value. But actually, is it really fully serving you? What I mean by that is it's the attachment to the label or that kind of identity or that badge of honor that really when we become attached to it or when we have an expectation of something. Because expectations are unrealistic, all the time. Whether we're having expectations of somebody else. What we're doing is we're basically expecting somebody else to meet our needs which means we're not taking responsibility for what it is that we want or need.
We don't have the ability to ask for what we need and then we place an expectation on somebody else to meet our needs when we just maybe don't know how to get them met ourselves. Or the expectation that we put on ourselves, which can also be unrealistic, that we're supposed to be a badass. Or one of the terms that I really just don't like in today's world is boss, babe. All these things that we've created, these labels, these identities, these roles as women that we've boxed ourselves into to prove that we can keep up with the world, keep up with men, keep up with each other.
I noticed, we've gotten to a place where it's actually not serving us. It's actually keeping us from being the source of our own joy, our own intention and one of the things that happens when we sort of wear these labels, these badges of honor, is from the expectation. We create goals to meet expectations. I'm not a big fan of goals, and this has been coming up a lot. I think it's a balance, it's an ebb and a flow between having an intention. I'm much more supportive of intentions over goals. So let's say, you meet with a health coach or a fitness trainer because this is an easy, tangible one for people and you set a goal of losing 10lbs .Well, I would rather you set the intention to exercise everyday or to eat more vegetables than to have the goal of losing 10lbs. Because if you can stick to your intention, which is a way of being, you are going to meet and likely far exceed your goals. That's kind of the problem that I have with goals, is that goals can be very limiting because a lot of times our goals are limiting. Like even if we put a number on something, what if more is possible? What happens if we just lean into trust? Whereas the energy of a goal is like, I'm going to work towards something versus the energy of, I'm going to set the intention to be a certain way and I'm going to take aligned action through that intention daily, weekly, monthly, because I am that intention. It's a completely different energy. It's more sustainable. There's no expectation. It's in agreement, it's you agreeing with the divine energy within you to just be a certain way.
And so I really love to hear when goals are something like to be peaceful, to feel free, to feel grounded, to speak with intention or open communication, to listen when they're a little bit more like daily behaviors and intentions versus an actual result. How does this land for you? Are you a goal setter? Have you had success with that? Have you tried setting daily intentions? Have you tried that? Have you had success with that? Are you still carrying around some type of identity or role or responsibility or some type of badge of honor that labels you as successful or amazing or healthy or whatever that word is? Is there something that you're still carrying around that you might be ready to let go of? Because that's where the real freedom is. That's where you step into the space of expansion. That's where you step into the energy of prosperity.
Prosperity is embodied trust. It's that trust that you're always on time. You're right where you need to be. You are open, ready, willing and available to receive with discernment. You are confident and clear to stay on your aligned path. When you are ready to learn as a student, in that next thing your teacher will appear. All of those things will reflect back to you that you're on the right path. Sometimes the path feels difficult. Sometimes you think you took a wrong turn and sometimes it's painful. We've all experienced this. We've been hurt by other people, we've lost in some type of competition and at the moment it feels like, if I just would have done this, this wouldn't have happened because a lot of times we want to avoid pain.
When we look at the big picture, we can choose to see that all of that was meant to happen because those challenging times are really when we get clarity around what doesn't work anymore. I want to invite you to notice if the labels that you're carrying around, the so called badges of honor, the words that you would use to describe yourself, are they still serving you? Are they supporting you to really just be present every day with wherever you are? Are you showing up daily with intention? Do you feel grounded? Do you feel relaxed? Do you trust decisions? Do you make decisions? When we don't live in embodied trust, we spin in cycles of indecision and people pleasing and procrastinating and ghosting people like to take up space, make empowered decisions.
Decisions create momentum, say yes, say no and own every single opportunity to make a decision in your life versus spinning an indecision or putting a decision off and sitting in procrastination or just totally ignoring or avoiding the situation or the person.If a person or a situation is not serving you, let them know and then let them go. I want to encourage you to sit with where in my life do I hold value to a certain way of showing up that might be ready for some clarity and might be ready for expansion or might be ready to be released or might be ready for a shift? And then the second question is, do I notice that my attachment to these identities has created stress in my life? And sometimes that stress and that overwhelm comes in the form of goals or to-do list not being met. That's something that I have heard so many times. People freeze when you start talking about love, okay, what are your goals? They either freeze because they're afraid of failure or they freeze because they immediately feel overwhelmed or they freeze because they think they have to have people pleased to meet them for the person who's asking them. And none of that is true.
If you're a goal setter, it's important to flow between both. It's most important to live each day with intentions. You can have goals for accountability for your intentions when they feel aligned with your soul. Remember the three questions that I've always encouraged you to ask: is this an alignment with my goals? Is this the right time? And does it have to be me? Before you commit to something and you answer those questions. If you get a yes, then you may want to create a goal, but that goal can be flexible because a lot of times when you're on your soul path, you will be challenged to rise and meet flexibility and adaptability and expansion and contraction. So it becomes more about what I like to say the result is in the journey versus being a result, but really just shifting your perception to whatever result that you think that you're looking for is actually in the journey and the process of getting there and of rediscovery and realigning and redefining and reclaiming with clarity your path.
Sometimes this means letting go of old identities and labels and badges of honors and goals. So I'm giving you full permission to just let go of the things that you thought you were supposed to be or do. I want to invite you to, even if you don't know what's next, just take the next small step and practice the embodiment of trust every day. Live with intention every day.
Come up with maybe one to three intentions, ways that you would like to be, ways that you would like to live every single day. When you do that, you will with ease and flow and grace naturally align on your path and everyone and everything that is there to support you will just appear at just the right time.
P.S.
Ready to take your life to the next level? Welcome more joy, ease and flow through a feminine approach to thriving in both your personal and professional life?
Begin with the Daily Devotion Journal and 13 Moons Membership
Expand into 5 Element Wellth and Prosperity
Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.
