How to Navigate Core Wounds of Rejection and Essential Goodness

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone where you just couldn't communicate clearly? Have you ever felt misunderstood, unseen or uncomfortable around a particular person in your life? 

Everyone has felt this way at some point in time. For some, it could be our partner, our parents, our siblings, our friends, acquaintances, business partners. But at some point in our life, we come across relationships when the relationship doesn't come easily, it's always an opportunity for some personal growth.

We create a perception or a belief around emotional trauma when we're younger and almost everybody has one. And because we are not able to rationalize a certain situation, we create a belief in that moment that keeps us safe. It's a survivor tactic and it serves us for some time. And then at some point in our life we may recognize this pattern that keeps repeating in different areas of our life. It can show up in our relationship with a partner, in our marriage, with our health, with our children, with our business, with money. But this same belief can create a pattern.

When we have a miscommunication with another person, it's not really about that person, this particular relationship, it wasn't really about this particular person, this relationship. But it was more about how this land. So how do we notice what we feel in situations in our life or relationships that make us uncomfortable? We cannot change what other people think about us. We cannot even fully understand why they perceive the situation to be a certain way because when two people have an experience, each person is approaching that experience from their own experiences and their own perception based on their own wounds and their own trauma and their own self limiting beliefs, blocks or fears. This is just the truth. It doesn't make anybody right or wrong, because there is no right or wrong. It doesn't even matter. Everyone has the right to have their own experience. When we feel the need to be validated or right, then that means we have to make somebody else wrong.

We don't have to get upset, we don't have to become the victim of somebody else's misunderstanding or our misunderstanding. We don't have to become the victim. We get to choose. And what we can choose is to lean into it and to ask Grace for support. We are always learning more and the more willing we are to continue to expand then the more opportunities we get to lean into our growth edge. 

You are to do a meditation with this other person's higher self. When we do meditation and welcome our own higher self and we're welcoming complete grace and unconditional love and the higher self of the other person, we can actually have a conversation or allow a conversation to take place. That might not be possible in the physical world. It might not be possible to be heard or to say what you want to say to this person physically. And that's okay. What this allows us to do is to heal. It allows us to have a conversation from a place of unconditional love, not from a place of fear or protection or anger or sadness. Just a place of love, just simply as it is. Because that's actually all that each one of us are. And so when we come into that vibration of acceptance and allowance and just surrender to grace, show what there is to heal, we create space for that conversation.

That is where the truth is. When the conversation is between higher selves and unconditional love, that's where the truth is. It's through grace. All of the work is done through grace. None of our experiences, our own pain, our own triggers, our own trauma is actually really just about our pain in that moment. That's the human condition. It's such a more expansive collective consciousness, all of our experiences, all of our losses, all of the experiences.

There's something so innocent about our inner child and allowing ourselves to trust and be in the space of a person who before their trauma, before their self limiting beliefs, but just from a place of pure unconditional love. What it does for us in this situation is that it easily allows us compassion and forgiveness. 

So, here are things that we can do. First, cleanse your energy when you’re on the receiving end of somebody else's sideways emotions. Also check yourself between compassion and truth with self responsibility. Ask Grace for support, “What is in this for me to learn about me? Show me the wound?” Because we cannot change what another person thinks, sees or feels, or their perception about the experience. But there is an opportunity for personal growth for us, on the receiving end or on the other end of a miscommunication.

And then go into meditation asking Grace for support, asking to be shown, “How did I attract this? What is it that needs to be healed?” And by the way, this particular answer can have many, many layers. This is one for many of us, really believing in our own essential goodness, really trusting and knowing when we consciously do the best that we can do, that when we are in alignment with Grace, when we are responding to a situation from our healthy self. 

With that clean energy and that connection to source, we then begin to continue a meditation with higher self. It's a beautiful journey and experience. Just trusting and surrendering in the process, in the experience is a wonderful gift. Allowing ourselves to learn and ask the questions about how can we move through this, how can we learn from this is helpful because that's where we can break the pattern.

So, in breaking the patterns, the first pattern is awareness. And this was an obvious awareness that somehow probably your higher self called in and so did this other person's higher self as an opportunity for a growth edge for both. That's the moment where we get to choose? Are we going to blame the other person and not take self responsibility? Because if we do, we're not going to learn anything from it. We're just going to keep repeating that pattern. It doesn't really matter if the person is wrong or not, but do we blame the person or do we take self responsibility and do the innerwork and break the pattern awareness of the belief that showed up, that created the pattern. A choice to have compassion and forgive it.

We are all going through our own journeys everyday. It is a practice. We are all perfectly imperfect. We are just here to navigate the muddy waters of the human condition in this experience in whatever way we can. And there's always an invitation when things get uncomfortable and sticky and muddy, to look the other way or to lean into it and allow it to be a growth edge, with which some very wonderful gifts can come out of it. 

You let go of toxic energy, you create space for new energy to come in at a higher vibration. It’s just magical.

Welcome these uncomfortable experiences as an invitation to lean in and to have gratitude for these experiences.So just keep trusting and stay the course.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.