What ways in your life are you putting everything and everyone else first? Maybe it only shows up once or twice a week. Maybe this is a part of who you are. Chances are there have been times in your life where you have really decided to do this. 

Everyday we have a choice on where we're going to spend our time and attention. We have 168 hours in the week and we choose how to spend those hours. Oftentimes we spend them without a clear sense of purpose. We're in survival mode, responding to what life throws our way, so we're being responsive rather than proactive. A lot of times we have obligations and sometimes we commit to things that aren't in alignment with our core values because I feel like we have to do certain things. We schedule blocks of time in our calendar for priorities. If we're really on top of committing to change your life, we might be able to schedule time for the things that really matter, like how to nourish ourselves, how to spend time with loved ones, and how to really take care of ourselves and our family. Then also we have to schedule the time for the priorities that come in our life with the work that we're doing. 

One of the ways to increase your relationship with self love is by being okay with putting yourself first. Really being okay with knowing your self worth and knowing that as you do this, it allows you to show up and serve those other people that you're already serving from a more grounded and nourished place, from a place of love. Rather than there being a need to serve others and take care of others because maybe there's an unhealthy attachment to the need to be appreciated or the need to be acknowledged or the lack of self worth, because sometimes we can do that. It's easier to put other people first than to acknowledge what our own needs are and really getting clear and present with what I need and being okay with it.

A couple of things that have really helped with self love practice and there are many, many things that you can do is writing in a journal, a gratitude journal. Maybe it's daily, maybe it's weekly, and writing down maybe just one to three things that you're grateful for at that moment, for that day. Gratitude is such a wonderful gift that opens up possibilities for more things to be thankful for. It's a shift in our perception in the way that we are experiencing our life, which is a choice, and it feels really good and it's really healthy. As we have gratitude, we can acknowledge ourselves for being present and grateful for those things, which in itself is a form of self love. 

Another way to welcome self love into your life is a silent meditation, prayer or just some quiet time, and this only really can last a few minutes. Visualizing in your mind what it is that you desire in your life for this day, or just allowing, maybe silence, maybe the manifestation of what will naturally just come up for you, just the presence of being with your very physical body. 

Another important part of creating a healthy relationship with self love is going to be practicing forgiveness with yourself and having compassion for yourself and for me. If you're a person who is a perfectionist, you're an overachiever, or you're just really committed to just doing a really good job or at whatever it is that you do, which many of us are. Chances are there's been a time in your life where you've been hard on yourself. Maybe this even shows up in your relationships with other people. Maybe you find that you start to be hard on other people because when someone is mean to you, it's not really about you. That person that's being mean is having some type of inner judgment or critic that's coming out and being projected on you.

The truth is that any step that you take in the right direction, any step that you take with positive intention to create change for yourself, to welcome self awareness is a step in the right direction already. Oftentimes the first step is the hardest step. We often keep ourselves from doing something that we know is going to serve us because we've already had it in our mind that we're going to fail or we're not going to meet the expectation because we have to do it right. We have to do it perfectly. We are all perfectly imperfect. It's what makes us human. The minute we can welcome that self compassion for where we are, when we can really get true with how it is that we're showing up and feeling, noticing where we're feeling in our body and where did this come from? Why do we feel like we have to be perfect? You already are. We're allowed to make mistakes. The more that we show vulnerability in our mistakes, the more that it shows other people it's okay. 

There is definitely a balance between truth and compassion. We always want to remember that we want to have compassion, self compassion for the experience. But the truth is that we do want to show up and do the work to get the results that we want, but letting go of the expectation and just allowing the journey to unfold. We do the work the best that we can in that moment and then we allow the journey to unfold. That is really the fine line is that balance between truth and compassion because too much compassion is enabling. Really just allowing yourself to notice the balance between that truth and compassion, too much truth is harsh. 

Acknowledging where you are and really just trusting that you are doing the best you can in that moment. We're actually really not in total control of everything. It's an illusion. Our whole life experience is not just about us. There's a whole thing that's happening here. When we realize that everything that we're doing isn't just about us, we can humbly step back after we've created action steps and trust that we are in the right place at the right time.

It's always a choice. Over the next week consider three acts of self love that you're willing to commit to. As you do these acts of self love, be really present and notice how it feels in your body to be doing this. It could be a simple act of journaling. It could be something like getting a massage. It could be some time in silence, a walk in nature. It could be a talk with a relationship that needs a healthy boundary. Write down three things that you're willing to do for yourself for the month . Write down three action steps that you can realistically take to reduce stress in your life because stress is what shows up. Whether it's in the physical body, the emotional body, or the mental body. Stress and discomfort are what show up when we're not loving ourselves. Think about how stress shows up because a lot of times it shows up in the choices that we're making when we eat. If we're really in tune with our physical body and our connection to our healthy self, then we want to nourish ourselves and they all go hand in hand. You'll notice when one part is out of balance, then the other parts start to shift. Reducing stress is important for us to live a happy and healthy life that we want. Share those action steps that you're willing to take to reduce stress in your life. Share those acts of self love that you're willing to commit to, even if it's just one.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.