From Excuses to Clarity with Truth and Compassion

Today, we are going to dive into the energy and the clarity of excuses and indecisiveness and how this can show up for some of us as a cycle of self sabotage. Maybe some of you can relate to this. Are you a person who becomes paralyzed in fear of taking action, whether it's a yes or a no? Are you a person who struggles to believe and trust that the decision you make will be good enough, it will be the right one, or that it will give you the result that you are seeking? Are you a person who struggles with deciding to take action? And are you a person who, if you want it to be super clear and honest with yourself, might make excuses for why it's not the right time to do something or the resources aren't available? I'm willing to bet that everybody has found themselves in this place at one time or another. 

Too much truth can be harsh and too much compassion can be enabling. It's a skill that coaches can either develop or have learned over their own lifetime. So we're going to dive into today why that is helpful, the balance between truth and compassion and clarity with the words that we speak when we find ourselves stuck in a pattern of indecisiveness or making excuses. 

I'm going to invite you to think of something currently in your life that you know you want to create change in and you're not doing it. Think about something right now. Allow yourself to just receive for a moment. What is it going to look and feel like when you decide to take action and call in that thing that you want? It could be going to the gym, eating healthier, taking time to meditate, selfcare, and welcoming more joy in your life. These are all intentions, right? Not goals, but intentions. Intentions are a way of being. It's creating habits rather than results. So what is an area of your life where you want to create a change and you feel stuck? You're not allowing yourself, you're not giving yourself permission to even have compassion, to course correct something that you know, that you desire and you're worthy of in your life. And then allow yourself to just experience for a moment the vision of what it will look like and feel like when you decide to take action towards that thing that you want, who's going to be there to support you? What is it going to feel like? And then the next question is to allow yourself to imagine what it would be like if you don't take action. What are you willing to risk losing by not taking action now? You never know until you try. 

Now, of course, we don't need and want to try everything in life. We can use discernment on what works for us and what doesn't work for us. But overall, I'm talking about those decisions on when to act or try something new. The answer is already no. If you don't try, what are you in this moment willing to risk or lose the possibility of staying stuck in your excuses and your indecisiveness. Many times we come up with an immediate response on why something isn't working. We're looking for the easy way out.We're looking for somebody to save us. We're looking for that diet pill, that quick fix, that magic formula. I'm here to tell you that as long as you're looking for that, you're actually not willing to invest in yourself. You're not willing to invest in the time, the money, the commitment, and the discipline that it takes for you to change and to show up to live in the life that you want to live. I know this is coming across as harsh, but I'm going to invite you to really get a super clean area of your life right now. This is what self empowerment is that you want to create change in.You've probably been stuck in the same cycle, who knows for 20 years. I have people who come to me who've been in cycles for 20 years. Maybe it's been five years, maybe it's three years. Maybe you're peeling the layers. Maybe you know, you know just a little bit more because things happen. You're not willing to be uncomfortable anymore. Your body hurts. Your health is suffering. Your relationship is suffering. Your finances are suffering. There's a breakdown somewhere in your life. What area of your life are you not willing to alter course in right now, even though you know you need to, even though it might be time? And what are you waiting for to give you permission? It's not worth losing your health. Don't wait for the health crisis. Don't wait for cancer to change your eating habits. Don't wait until you're unhealthy and overweight to go to the gym. Don't wait for the divorce to work on your marriage. Don't wait for your kids to leave and go to college before you decide to be present with them. Why do we wait? What is paralyzing you from taking that step? What are you not allowing yourself to receive by taking that step? You might not be allowing yourself to receive support. You might not be allowing yourself to receive health, abundance, love, intimacy. Get super clear on what you're missing out on by not allowing yourself to take that inspired action step and call in what you want. Get really clear with what you're not allowing yourself to receive by taking that step forward and ask yourself, what's it going to take? When is it going to be the right time? When are you going to decide? Are you going to wait for the health crisis? I would invite you not to. Don't wait for the breakdown in your health, your marriage, your relationships, your financial situation. Don't wait until your kid is depressed and closes up before asking them how they feel.

Stop making excuses when you say you don't have time for something or you say you don't have the money for something. Get super clear with your words and be truthful with them. Just say what you're really saying is, it's not a priority for me at this moment because we all have the same 24 hours in the day. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. It's how we choose to use them that looks differently. Become the experience you wish to seek. It no longer looks like work anymore. It's no longer the idea that eating healthy is more work. Because you become the person with healthy habits. Once you commit and stay disciplined, with support and invested in your health and well being because you know you're worthy, you're willing to become that person. Become the person who takes action on yourdesires and your beliefs rather than staying stuck and paralyzed in an old belief. Become the person willing to act and change and shift the belief. Create your life story. Become the author of your own story. 

I'm going to invite you to stop looking for the easy way out. I'm coming to you today with some truth, with some clarity, and just really inviting you to get super clear with the words that you use, the beliefs that you have. Desire plus belief equals action and results. What do you want? What do you believe about it? What actions are you taking? Because those are the results you're going to get and only you can do that for you in your life. Sometimes I will hear people say, oh well, only you can do that or it's easy for you because you're already healthy. No, I worked for this. I had a health crisis. I was willing, I was committed, I was disciplined, I was devoted. I had support. I've always had support. I've invested in every area of my life. I also know when it's time to allow myself to be and to integrate. I didn't expect anybody to save me. I didn't expect anybody to create the change for me. I had to know I was worthy. I put in the work and it was worth it. I've completely, radically changed my life and my family's life on so many levels because I chose to. I knew I was worthy. I got support. One of the mistakes that we make is we think we can do it alone. So who can you call in for support? Another mistake that we make is keeping ourselves busy. It's much easier to be too busy to commit to the long term solution. We are talking about rewriting your story. We're talking about changing your habits. We're not talking about quick fixes. So what is something that you can do to show up with clarity in your life around your beliefs and your actions? Do you really not have time to do the thing that's important to you? Do you really not have the financial resources? Or are you going and spending $100 on yoga pants or going out with your friends versus a nutrition program? How are you spending your resources? Most of our values show up on our credit card and our calendar. So take a look at your credit card and your calendar and that's where you're going to find how you're spending your time. What are the things that are important to you in your life? What are your values and are your actions in alignment with your values? Because if they're not, you are out of alignment and you're going to be exhausted, overwhelmed, depleted. You're never going to feel good enough and you're not going to be happy. But you get to choose differently. What are the things that are important to you in your life? Are your actions in alignment with those of you who say health, if you say family, are you spending time with your family? Are you choosing healthy foods? If you say fun, are you making time for fun in your life? Those happen to be three of mine.

If you're not, then get really clear on the reason that you're not. Stop making excuses. Stop looking for the easy way out. Stop looking for the person to save you. You are the only one who gets to walk side by side with you on this journey of life. You are the only one from birth to transition who's going to be there. You're the only one accountable and self responsible for yourself, for your life experience. You get to choose how every experience in your life plays out for you. So what are you going to do today for this week? What is it that you desire? What is your belief about it? What is one thing and what action are you going to take to create the change you want in your life? Or are you going to choose to stay stuck in that cycle of self sabotage, paralyzed by your fear, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of failure, because doing nothing, not taking an action to change something that you want to change is self sabotage. Indecisiveness because of the fear of overwhelm or failure or being let down is self sabotaging. It doesn't come from a healthy place. There is nothing more disempowering than not deciding and not choosing. It is disempowering. So how can you choose from a place of empowerment? Stand firmly in your energy, to say yes, this is serving me. Are you spending the time to know what's in alignment with you? And when you do, you ask yourself the question, is this in alignment with me? Is it the right time? Do I have to be the person to do this? But stand firmly in the energy and in alignment with your belief and your decision, yes, this is serving me, or no, it's not, because it is empowering to stand in your truth and anytime you find yourself saying the words I should do this, I have to do this, check yourself around the clarity. There is nothing you have to do. And when we say the words I should do this, it implies guilt and shame that we're already not good enough.So I invite you to remove those words, shift the belief, and if it's something that you're working on, you can use the words until now.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.