There is No Such Thing as Overconfidence

Today I'm bringing a conversation that really feels dear to my heart around overconfidence and how we might judge or shame or reject overconfidence and why it's important for us to stand in confidence. This conversation is really about being curious about the phrase that there's no such thing as overconfidence. 

There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance can be destructive and doesn't have compassion and only thinks that energy is very self serving. Confidence is ownership, it's sovereignty, it's prosperity, it's receiving and giving and living out your soul truth.

This is a really important conversation, the idea that there's no such thing as overconfidence.  When you stand in that energy of confidence and service and ownership, it's an amazing place to be and yet we play small.

So there's so much around this conversation, and I want to invite you to pause for a moment and just think, like, if you feel this in this conversation at all, if you ever struggle with confidence, what is that really about? 

My favorite poem is about standing in your light, Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? And actually, who were you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. And it's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

There's so much to unpack underneath that. It's so interesting because many of us will look at those women and think, oh, they must be so confident. But a lot of their overachieving and perfectionism actually comes from lack of confidence or the need to prove themselves seeking external validation. For some of you, for most of us, it came from an adult in our life when we were younger. It could have been mom or dad or some other meaningful person in your life. It could have been a coach or a teacher. Maybe somebody said something to you that rewrote how you show up in your life. Think about how many times that's happened and how that's impacting you right now, how it's impacting your beliefs around your own self worth. 

There's no such thing as overconfidence. If somebody is threatened by your confidence, tell them to go find less. If somebody is threatened by your confidence, they can go find less. It's not our responsibility to worry about how our confidence or us owning ourselves is impacting others because everyone gets to choose. Everyone gets to choose how they are being impacted. Now, we always take self responsibility for ourselves and our own actions, but we're not responsible for others and their response or reactions. 

So what if there's no such thing as overconfidence? Think for a moment. What is your relationship to confidence? How much of the time are you confident? When you see somebody else who's super confident, do you judge them? What words come up? I find the most confident woman I've ever worked with who and I'm not talking about arrogance, where they're actually consciously aware of their presence. Quietly confident without the need to explain, without the need to be validated. That's true confidence. No need for external validation. Coming from a healthy place, probably would say maybe that person acts or feels confident maybe 60% of the time.

When you fully own yourself and step into confidence, your circle might get smaller. It's a really fun place to be because from that place of confidence, we're living our truth. So take a moment and just think, what is my relationship to confidence? How confident am I in myself? Maybe my job, my work, my marriage? As a woman, as a human, as a mother? Where am I not owning myself? Where am I playing? Small. Am I speaking up enough at work? We so easily bring awareness to the things that we're not doing well. Most of us. Not all of us. 

If you're coming from a wounded place of a need to prove yourself or you, you need to be validated, it's unhealthy. If you come from a relaxed, aligned place of confidently knowing you're in your purpose, totally different energy. That's why we're having this conversation. I'm giving you permission to stand with clarity and confidence. Enter conversations like that, difficult conversations with your boss or your parents, or your children, your spouse, and watch things shift when you're quietly confident the truth will always come through. And ladies and gentlemen, we're not doing this enough. We're playing small. We're living out somebody else's beliefs. What we were told in our marriage, in our health and our money, we're just keeping ourselves so small.

I want to invite you into the space where you get to choose to shift everything, anything you want. The secret sauce is not being attached because that takes the trust. And trust is confidence. It's that inner knowing, that inner wisdom of just knowing that when you are aligned, everything's going to fall into place. It's really because prosperity is the embodiment of trust. When you know in that really silent place within you, you can feel it down in your sacral, your heart, it's relaxed. Not in your head, not thinking about it, and not in your heart. Heart is the emotional center. The head is the thought center. But when you know in that deepest part of you, in your core, in your sacral as a woman, when you remember who you are and you stand in that confidence of whatever it is that you're presenting or doing or sharing or stepping into run that marathon. Write that book. Speak on that stage. Open that holistic practice. Open that holistic law practice. When you just take a deep breath and you just remember that truth, you trust it. That's where the confidence comes from. There's no such thing as overconfidence.And in my circles, you have full permission to shine, full permission to be who you are. A lot of us, especially as women, have felt rejection and betrayal because of our confidence if it threatens other people.

When we enter in service from a place of love and trust, that's when we flow. And I'm inviting you to do that. The things that you've been gifted God's gifts to you, your skills, your gifts, your talents, own them because you give others permission to do the same. It's what you were born to do and feel good about it. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. Maybe you were told differently when you were younger. Maybe you were told you were too much, be too much with healthy discernment. But don't shrink if this speaks to you. And you want to be in a circle of women who are doing this, who are creating magic in their lives, who are tripling quadrupling, even tensing their income, who are creating their dream side businesses or businesses who are welcoming in their soulmates,who are up leveling their health with clarity and confidence and creating freedom. Then I invite you to join us. 

You will just be so amazed at how your life will shift immediately when you take ownership of your experiences, whether it's with me as a coach or someone else, there are other coaches. But if this speaks to you, I want those women. I want those women who are ready and willing to take ownership and create magic and freedom and clarity and confidence in their life through building a foundation in their well being. All of those are non negotiable nutrition and movement, your mindset healing, your emotional past, spiritual growth and financial freedom.That's what we're doing.A nd then when you take those tools, you have the opportunity to learn energy mastery and embodiment mastery of those skills and tools. That's what we're doing in our circles and retreats. 

So this is me giving you permission to stand in your light and own your confidence in something today. I'm inviting you to pick the thing that feels most uncomfortable. Start there and give the people around you permission to do the same.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Daily Devotion Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.