Define your Worth in Challenging Times

We've been navigating extra challenges the past couple of years or maybe you feel like you're always navigating challenges. I want to invite you to start owning your worth and to stop being the victim of  your circumstances. But really, truly, like, own your life, own yourself, own your sovereignty. Dig deep and find that courage to start living. Is life living you? Or are you living life? Are you living your life? Or is life living you? What's happening? When are you going to start living your life? What are the things that you want to do in this experience? Are you ready? How are you showing up? Are you showing up the person that you want to be in all your relationships? 

It's in those times that we feel like we're at rock bottom that we really got to dig deep and define our self worth. Because if we don't, then we stay down there. We stay with somebody's foot on our chest. And I'm going to say that somebody is our shadow. The shadow is, like, standing over us with his her foot on our chest, keeping us down and suffocated. I'm going to invite you to get up. I'm going to invite you to stand up for yourself, for your life, and start owning it and start giving yourself permission to do what you want to do. Walk in Grace, it's when I'm talking about digging deep and fighting for your right to be alive. I'm talking about igniting that inner fire within you that knows your worth. I'm not talking about externally projecting or competing or having arguments with people. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about knowing so deeply your truth and being fully aware of the shadows that come up to keep you from your truth.

Probably even the self doubt of if it is your truth. Knowing your shadows so much and knowing your truth so much that you just, you embody it, you live it. And if you're a person right now who's really struggling as, as many are, I want you to know this is what I do for a living.

We all have our periods of contractions and expansions. We all have our challenging times. We all go through grief and loss and betrayal and rejection and abandonment. And some of us experience illness or disease or a crisis, a divorce, a breakup or financial losses. We have breakdowns in relationships on some level, all of us do. There's a feeling of mistrust and deceit for some people, or there's a feeling or sense of grief and loss for those of us that have lost loved ones.

For some of us, we're experiencing empowerment. I'm ready to take care of my health and well being and I'm ready to heal because life has slowed down enough and showed me that's what matters for some of us. We've repaired relationships because we realize more than we did a couple years ago when things were easier than the fragility of the human experience. And why does it take a breakdown for us to shift our lives? You may already be experiencing this. If you are at rock bottom or you're close to it, this is your time to rise up. This is your time to rise up. This is your time to get out of your story to witness the limiting beliefs and the patterns that keep reoccurring to own it, to do something about it. Because if you don't, you're living somebody else's life. You're just not living your truth. I don't know whose life you're living, but  you're just kind of having life live through you. And is that how you want to show up?

You're somebody who wants to live a good life, wants to experience peace and freedom and joy and connection and love and abundance and health, wealth and love and all the things. And you have the right to want to experience those things every day. Wake up with an intention. Start with stillness, meditation, prayer, journaling. Take a few minutes, move your body. Appreciate yourself. Ask yourself how you want to show up every day. And at the end of every day, close the day with a prayer, an acknowledgement, a celebration, gratitude, something to complete each day. 

How do you define your worth during challenging times? You get super clear on your values, super clear on what's important to you. And it's usually during those challenging times, maybe after a divorce, after a health crisis, that we're invited to be like, what really matters after grief and loss. Maybe some of us had to experience a divorce or get out of a toxic relationship to really own our self worth. Maybe it took a health crisis for some of us to really love and value and appreciate our physical bodies. Maybe it took losing a loved one for us to realize the value of relationships with the people we love. Or maybe you're still walking through life, numbing yourself and avoiding the pain, and you just don't know how to deal with it. And if that's your truth at this moment, that's okay too. I encourage you to become aware of it.

If you're a person who feels uncomfortable, but on the outside seems so positive about all those things, it's okay to not be okay all the time. And defining your self worth is knowing and owning that. Knowing and owning that. We all deserve the right and the freedom to experience all emotions without judgment. All of them without judgment. So defining your self worth is about knowing your values. And maybe it took a breakup in a relationship or a health crisis or something for you to get super clear on what didn't work. Because now you know what doesn't work. Now that you know what doesn't work, you get to choose, well, what does work. And maybe you haven't taken the time to do that. So this is your chance.

If you're struggling financially right now, if you lost a job, if you've lost a relationship, marriage, divorce, friendship, partnership, business partnership, whatever that is, if you're experiencing disconnect in your physical body, if you're experiencing some type of health breakdown, money breakdown, breakdown in love, those are the top three. Usually.

If you've experienced grief or loss, get clear on what, what really matters to you. What are your values in life like? At the end of the day, at the, at the end of your life, how do you want to be remembered? How do you want to show up in all of the roles in your life? Now, remember, your roles don't define you, but they help you to just navigate how you're showing up, because your roles are relationships that reflect back to you parts of yourself. So you may show up differently as a mother than you do as a business owner. And those two separate relationships are just reflecting back to you those parts of yourself and your wholeness. And that's why we show up differently, because we become activated. We activate those parts of ourselves based on the relationship that we've entered into agreement with.

So the beautiful thing is that each of those relationships invite us to really acknowledge, how am I showing up? How am I showing up as a mother? How am I showing up as a wife? How am I showing up as a business owner? How am I showing up for myself? How am I showing up in my community? Do I practice what I preach? Do I embody what I speak? How am I showing up in my relationship with the things I value, with adventure? I'm talking about myself personally. I value adventure and joy and health and connection. And so just asking yourself, with those values, are you aligned to those values? Do you make decisions every day in alignment with your values? Because if you do, the external experience doesn't matter. It will just show you whether you're aligned or not. 

So if you're going to work and you have your values and your values are being questioned at work, you have the chance to say, is this job aligned with me or am I out of alignment with my value myself in this experience? In other words, the job may not be your dream job, it might not be aligned with you at that moment, but are you showing up in alignment with your truth in that business meeting? Because if you are, then the external job doesn't really matter that much. It doesn't affect you. It's just an experience. It doesn't define you. You define you in every relationship. You define you in your relationship with your work. You define yourself in your relationship with your spouse, your children, your community, your body, all of those. 

When you live in alignment with those values and know your worth, everything else is just an experience that you're a part of. And that's where you start to live your life rather than life leaving you because you've chosen to live in alignment with your truth and the things that matter most to you. So defining your self-worth during challenging times is super important because your values are really going to be questioned. Maybe you thought you valued something and all of a sudden you're in a health crisis and health wasn't one of your values and you're being asked to redefine your values. Maybe it's time to start putting health first instead of job or money or career. Maybe it's time to start putting joy first. Maybe it's time to start putting community or service first. Maybe you're a mother whose children are growing and you're ready to go out and adventure and do your own thing and start your own business, and it's time for service.

Your values are always going to change depending on where you are. And if you're in a particularly challenging time right now, get clear on your values. What is important to you right now? Am I living in alignment with my values every day? Do my relationships reflect my values? Do I have friends with the same values? If I value health, do I go to a gym? Do I eat healthy? Am I healing my relationships, hurting relationships because that's part of our health and wellbeing too. If I value joy, how many times a day do I do something that I enjoy? It's in those moments where you feel attacked, betrayed, abandoned, hopeless. You got to dig really deep and you got to get super clear on what you're really here for. What do you stand for in this world? How do you want to be remembered? Are you showing up like that? Or are you showing up defeated? A victim? Tired, hopeless, abandoned, rejected? Give yourself permission to be in that. Witness it acknowledged. Get some support and move forward to living your life the way that you want to. You might need a therapist. You might need a coach. You might need a nutritionist or a doctor. You might just need a friend. You might need some time alone. Ask yourself, what do I need? First, know your values. Evaluate your experiences. Evaluate the relationships in your life. Ask yourself if you're living in alignment with those. Ask yourself if you need support and get super clear on how I want to show up? How do I be remembered? Maybe you write a few goals or intentions for yourself. What is the next best small step I can take today? It could be something like drinking water. What is the next small step I can take today? We don't have to write all these goals of running a marathon or writing a book. All has to happen this year.

What is the next small step? Next best step that I can take today. Just 1 foot forward in front of the next. It's okay to have big, grand visions and goals. Or maybe you feel like they're not possible right now. What is the next thing you can do? My hope is that if you're feeling alone right now, if you're feeling defeated, if you're feeling like the victim of your circumstances, if you don't trust, if you feel, if you are in scarcity, if you are in fear, that you take a moment today to just connect with yourself, connect with your body, your breath movement, and become curious about your values and what's important to you and how you want to live your life. And ask yourself, truly, am I doing this? And what is the next best step I can take today? Can I get some support? Can I make a healthy meal? Can I call a loved one? Can I call my mom or my dad? Reignite that relationship? Can I apologize to somebody for wrongdoing? Can I journal or write a letter to myself? 

What is just that next small thing? You don't have to stay at rock bottom. How many stories have you heard of people who have just hit what they thought was rock bottom once, twice, three times to rise up, to become closer to their truth? You don't have to. But I'm also here to tell you that your willingness to navigate and work through the discomfort is your freedom because you no longer have to be afraid of it. You already know what it is. You don't have to fear. The thing that you fear is the thing that you're meant to work through and experience because it's part of who you are. And if you have the courage to do that, you're no longer bound by those shackles of fear. You're not bound to anything because you've been there and done that.

If you're navigating this, start witnessing yourself. When you go back to feeling stuck, when you go back to feeling like there's no hope or you can't move forward, witness yourself and say, okay, I see you. I understand that you need support. You need love. You don't feel worthy. I see you. I'm here for you. I see you. And I'm here for you. And I still love you. 

Today, what can we do? Today I want to invite you to literally witness yourself in those challenging times. I see you feel unsupported because you didn't get what you needed as a child. And I also see that you're not asking for support. So what is that about? I see you self sabotaging with food. What is that about? I see you rejecting love, yet you tell me you feel rejected. What is that about? I see you feel abandoned, yet you don't want support. What is that about? I see you believe that you don't have money, yet you get to choose to receive and do the exchange of it. What you do with it, what will you choose?

I see that you believe you don't have enough time and ask yourself, are you living in alignment with your values when it comes to time? Are you managing your energy? Are you saying yes to the things that you want to say yes to? Or are you caught up in the minutia, the busyness of life and not taking the time to reflect? I see that you don't love your body. And what can you do today to love yourself? Have you connected with your body? Do you appreciate every meal that you eat? Do you offer yourself space to move? Do you give yourself permission to connect with your body and to be present? 

I see that you feel alone. Have you spent time with yourself, navigating and discovering meditation, journaling with yourself to understand your needs? I see you. I know that things are hard. I love you. I accept you. I honor you anyway because you're worthy. You're worthy of love. You're worthy of health. You're worthy of wealth. You're worthy of abundance, connection, happiness, joy. You alone are worthy. That's it. Period. You are loved, lovable and loving.

P.S.

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Jen Mons is an author, speaker, mentor and coach for high achieving purpose driven ready to shift the paradigm of feminine leadership and redefine excellence and wealth through 5 Element Wellth, Prosperity, Journaling and Soul Wisdom Imprinting.